Death on a First Date

( An unsent letter to... Lady Petronilla. )

( Unsent letter to his father )

Weddings! Truly joyous occasions for all. I trust all decent citizens will be attending mine. I trust all indecent citizens will be staying away.

[Actual message to Petronilla]

I believe I have to come and try some new hose on.

Your daughter will be there, won't she?

[OPEN SPAM LATER - multiple me, if you like. One is reserved for Victor, though.]

[Eddie is running away. Into the woods. Half dressed in hose, and with a ripped shirt. He's a bit less skinny and a bit more Disney-Prince than usual. He jumped out of a window in an act of derring-do and is now on the run from his future mother-in-law and numerous other people. He has no idea where he's going, or how to survive without a manservant, and in any other circumstances, would die.

Unless someone magically appears to help him out...]

((ooc: Edward, for reference, is a visiting prince from a nearby poxy little tinpot kingdom, and is desperately trying to get out of his arranged marriage, 'cause he loves some cheery, lovely peasant girl. Feel free to assume you're invited/know anyone involved, etc. Go nuts. If you want in/have nothing to do with a variety of female characters for the purposes of plot, come bug me. Otherwise peasant girl/future wife etc will be assumed.

It's canon. But not as you know it.))