Death on a First Date

Related to my inmate's last post - we had an idea, and not just about that particular situation, but in general.

Normally, I'd take this to just the wardens, but I think it really does affect everyone, so I'll make it public.

At home, we have something called the Book of the Gone - where we keep records and testimonies to those who have died and provided good service to the Collective.

I was thinking, perhaps, we could do something similar: except everyone can write in it, and maybe it ought to be more public. I was thinking we could get a noticeboard, some bits of card and a pen, and people can write something to remember people that have left - for whatever reason - by.

As I think perhaps it's a little easy to forget people were here, as most other evidence of them is removed, and it's especially important to remember people that have graduated and moved on. If only as evidence that it can, indeed, happen.

I'd be happy to manage the noticeboard, and make sure people don't use it as a way to anonymously insult people who aren't here. If you have issues with someone that's left, perhaps they're best discussed with your friends, rather than posted in public. I'd take down anything insulting, and keep copies of all entries, so if one goes missing, it can be replaced.

I guess it's sort of a way of acknowledging that these people were here, and did impact on us. I'd like to hear your thoughts on the idea, and any changes I could make. If nobody really likes it, I can find my own use for the noticeboard.

[Warden filter] [Filter removed, now open to the public.]

And I believe it is customary to vote on such things, so... for, against, suggestions for change?

I'd like to think it's a beneficial idea.

[Private to the Admiral]

I'd like a large magnetic noticeboard and about 100 small magnets, please.

Uh...

My item seems to be... malfunctioning?

I've acquired someone else's inmate. And lost Victor.

How... Was I doing a bad job? I wasn't doing a bad job. I wasn't complacent or...

Munsell in a canoe, what is this?

[Private to Sveta]

Petronilla's your inmate, right?

She seems to be on my item.

...What should I do? I don't think I've ever talked to her before.

[Private to Petronilla]

Hello! I'm Eddie Russett, and I'm not quite sure what's happened. I think it's an accident, as I definitely don't have your file or anything, but you seem to be my inmate.

Or at least, seem to be on my item. If you need anything, ask... actually, perhaps we could meet. Perhaps we should.

[Private to Victor]

I don't know what's going off, but keep in touch.

[Private to Jane]

Ugh, this makes no sense.

I just want to get Limed tonight. Is that bad?

This might be an unpopular question, but... plenty of people have said that the person they were was nothing like them at all. Did anyone have the opposite? That they were someone quite familiar. Perhaps how they used to be in the past, or how they'd be if something seemingly insignificant never happened, or did happen?

I'm also wondering whether everyone was like that, and people are just denying it. [That strike was obliterated.]

I've never been more grateful for spotting inefficiency in queuing. Nor for East Carmine. Nor for Pointless Tasks.

So yes! If you... could see some of yourself in the person you were, perhaps it might be good to share what you're grateful for that made you like you today. Inmates too. It's better to be yourself and know what made you that way than to be... a drone of the Collective forced to be something else.


[Private to Jane]

You're not really like

I won't let you be like...

Just how many people did you youknow wi

No, that's like you getting upset over Vio...

And that was entirely different now I think

You know what, if this is how easily it goes to brown, go hom

I'm coming to see you. If you don't want me to, say now and I'll stop.

[Private to Victor]

I'm sorry about that. Even if that wasn't... the you I know, I'm sorry.

There's something I'd like to show you.

[Private to George]

I think, generally, we have enough difficulties around here with floods like this.

So when... when everyone's alright, I'd like to take you up on your offer.

If you're alright.

[Private to Una]

Are you alright?

If you are, I'd like to show you something. About what we discussed before.

[pause]

I don't suppose you can get me a bacon sandwich, can you? A merit and... [bad habits] Never mind. I'll repay you some how if you can.

[Private to himself.]

( In which Eddie gets his Winston Smith on and starts writing to himself. )

[Eddie appears on camera. Smartly dressed as usual, but also wearing his Red Prefect badge as well as his Red spot. He feels like this gives his post some more authority. Because this is a PSA from Eddie. He coughs, and gives a slight nervous smile.]

Hello, everyone! I recently discovered that you can, in fact, visit my world in the CES. Well, the wilderness of my world, not actually... East Carmine... [off topic, Eddie. Back to topic.]

As a result, I thought I ought to warn you all of things you might come across.

[He smiles and holds up a picture of a yatevo - one he's drawn, and it's pretty good, if entirely in pencil. It looks a bit like a giant mangrove tree with a huge, person shaped bulb. There is a picture of an open bulb, laying in wait on the floor, and next to it, a picture of a pair of legs flailing whilst trapped in the bulb.]

This. Is a yatevo plant. Notoriously carnivorous, and a significant danger. I nearly got trapped by one this weekend, but there's a way of escaping. [He puts the picture down,] There are two triggers on a yatevo [He holds up two fingers.] The first is when you step onto it. Do not move after that. It will eat you. Instead, throw a shoe, a communicator [he frowns] as I had to do this weekend onto another part of the plant. That will be a second trigger and you can walk out free.

If you do happen to get caught by one... well, hope you go in face first, as being digested by a plant from the bottom isn't any fun. Not that being digested face first is.

[He holds up a picture of a giant swan. This looks like it's come from official literature, as it has a size comparison with a human. It's at least three, four times bigger than the man in the picture.] This is a Giant Swan, or Cygnus carnivorum giganticus, sometimes called the Whispering Death. They've never been known to land, they just soar around in the air and occasionally decide to... eat people. Regular swans can break your arm, but these are... exceptionally dangerous. Be wary.

There's also ball lightning attacks. But I'm not sure there's much you can do about those without flak towers and patrols, so it seems a bit pointless warning you all. Just don't take a bike.

[Awkward frown. He puts his pictures to one side.]

On a positive note! Don't let that put you off if you end up in my world up there. Go and spot some animals! Make sure you don't get ratfink juice on your clothes, that might end in you being unpopular at dinner and no amount of cleaning can get it out. But spot a bouncing goat, or a Ground Sloth. There's also the squarriel. All sorts of fun things to spot, I swear. Make sure to get their barcodes for me. Taxa numbers if you're brave enough to get that close.

[Hopeful grin]

Just don't lose your communicator to a yatevo. It's not a good way to spend a weekend.

[Private to Jane]

The other Eddie.

Be careful, Jane. Please.

((ooc: if anyone is interested in the weird place that is Eddie's world, or wants their characters to find it in the CES, this is a series of awesome pics and info about those strange animals.))

[Filtered away from Victor]

To make you all aware, for the next few days, my inmate will not be able to see who he is talking to. So please don't get angry if he doesn't recognise you - it's deliberate.

I, on the other hand, will be able to see who everyone is. If you abuse him, or treat him badly, just because you think he can't tell who you are - I will know, and I will step in. It won't be tolerated.

[sigh]

I'd also appreciate it if you didn't all automatically identify yourselves, as it kind of removes the point.

[Warden filter]

Alright, I know there's a flood on and if anyone's not themselves and knows it... wait to respond?

I need your cooperation, on quite a massive scale, to be perfectly honest, and I need to explain what's going on:

I'm going to be restricting my inmate's journal access, probably tomorrow, but in an unusual (apparently) way.

I want to restrict him to text and make all replies to him anonymous (am I using that right?). It has a purpose, I swear.

The problem is that I imagine some people will take advantage of this to insult him. I will be watching these conversations constantly, and I will be able to see who is who.

But I'd appreciate it if you could discourage your inmates from, um, [there is no word for 'trolling' in his vocabulary] antagonising him just because they're anonymous. It's not really an opportunity for everyone to come in and say what they really think of him - but for him to talk to people without his prejudices am I using that right getting in the way.

I hope this works.

[Private to Sarah]

I'm especially worried about your inmate.

[Private to Victor]

Victor, as of tomorrow, I'm placing a new restriction on your communications. Only for a few days, maybe even one day.

This might seem harsh, but it serves a purpose, and is not a punishment. It has never been a punishment.

I'm going to make it so you can't see who's responding to you, and you will receive everything as text. I will not allow for people to abuse you, don't worry about that, I'll be able to see who's who and keep track of it.

[Private to the Admiral]

As of tomorrow, can you please make it so my inmate can only receive text - all other posts should be transcripted for him. Can you also make it so he can't see who is replying to him, but I can? Also, he should always be able to see me and talk to me, in any medium.

Make this last for tomorrow and Thursday. I... might ask for less, or maybe more time, it depends.