needshumility: (entitled)
As Victor has duly informed you all, he graduated. Not without considerable effort or thought on his part.

He has spoken for more than I ever could.

I am, however, about to go home. I cannot, truly, stay. I fear I would lose sight of what I have to do, of what I must do. There is a significant part of me which hates to surrender the freedoms I have gained here, but it would be selfish of me to keep those freedoms to myself. There is a whole society which has none of them - and I have to help bring them about.

Which can only bring me to my final note to you all - never take any freedom you have for granted. Never assume it will always be there. Even the inmates amongst you, who I know have less freedom than myself here. Remember, there is a freedom to love, there is a freedom of knowledge, there is a freedom to ask questions, a freedom to know there are questions that need asking, a freedom to tell someone to fuck right off if you want, and a freedom to take your tie off. It's hard to put freedoms down once you know they exist. Often you only notice how few you have when you see how others live.

Sacrifices for the good of the collective.

[Private to Chromie]

I'll leave you all my questionnaires and notes.

[Private to Jane]

I'm going to leave you with my swatch, and instructions. As well as the notes my father left me. You may want to tell a doctor, so they can ensure nothing goes wrong, or if you're unconscious, but I'll leave that choice to you.

Everything else... I'd like to say to you in person.

[Private to George]

Make sure Jane's alright when I'm gone. I'm sorry in advance if she punches you in the nose.

[Warden filter]

Although I'm leaving, my board will be exactly where I left it. Someone else might want to watch for offensive messages on it, though.
needshumility: (oops)
An unsent letter to... Lady Petronilla. )

Unsent letter to his father )

Weddings! Truly joyous occasions for all. I trust all decent citizens will be attending mine. I trust all indecent citizens will be staying away.

[Actual message to Petronilla]

I believe I have to come and try some new hose on.

Your daughter will be there, won't she?

[OPEN SPAM LATER - multiple me, if you like. One is reserved for Victor, though.]

[Eddie is running away. Into the woods. Half dressed in hose, and with a ripped shirt. He's a bit less skinny and a bit more Disney-Prince than usual. He jumped out of a window in an act of derring-do and is now on the run from his future mother-in-law and numerous other people. He has no idea where he's going, or how to survive without a manservant, and in any other circumstances, would die.

Unless someone magically appears to help him out...]

((ooc: Edward, for reference, is a visiting prince from a nearby poxy little tinpot kingdom, and is desperately trying to get out of his arranged marriage, 'cause he loves some cheery, lovely peasant girl. Feel free to assume you're invited/know anyone involved, etc. Go nuts. If you want in/have nothing to do with a variety of female characters for the purposes of plot, come bug me. Otherwise peasant girl/future wife etc will be assumed.

It's canon. But not as you know it.))
needshumility: (in cold oxblood)
[Eddie has his stiff, formal tone on.]

It seems Tommy has left. I don't know if it's permanent or not, but all evidence points to permanent.

[pause pause]

We should make sure people aren't forgotten here. Somehow.

[pause, pause. He sounds like he going to say something else, then just... doesn't.]
needshumility: (Default)
Uh...

My item seems to be... malfunctioning?

I've acquired someone else's inmate. And lost Victor.

How... Was I doing a bad job? I wasn't doing a bad job. I wasn't complacent or...

Munsell in a canoe, what is this?

[Private to Sveta]

Petronilla's your inmate, right?

She seems to be on my item.

...What should I do? I don't think I've ever talked to her before.

[Private to Petronilla]

Hello! I'm Eddie Russett, and I'm not quite sure what's happened. I think it's an accident, as I definitely don't have your file or anything, but you seem to be my inmate.

Or at least, seem to be on my item. If you need anything, ask... actually, perhaps we could meet. Perhaps we should.

[Private to Victor]

I don't know what's going off, but keep in touch.

[Private to Jane]

Ugh, this makes no sense.

I just want to get Limed tonight. Is that bad?
needshumility: (sheepish)
Uh... is there anyone that hasn't turned up yet in this flood? I'm just worried that if some people are really small they might not be able to get their communicators or out the door.

[Private to the Admiral]

Could I... possibly have some clothes suitable for a two year old girl. Whatever's standard issue, I suppose. Without frills or anything. Una said that might be a problem.

[Private to Victor]

Are you alright? Still the same age or not?

Jane is, well, two, so I've got my hands a little full at the moment. If you need me, though, I'll be there.
needshumility: (entitled)
[Eddie appears on camera. Smartly dressed as usual, but also wearing his Red Prefect badge as well as his Red spot. He feels like this gives his post some more authority. Because this is a PSA from Eddie. He coughs, and gives a slight nervous smile.]

Hello, everyone! I recently discovered that you can, in fact, visit my world in the CES. Well, the wilderness of my world, not actually... East Carmine... [off topic, Eddie. Back to topic.]

As a result, I thought I ought to warn you all of things you might come across.

[He smiles and holds up a picture of a yatevo - one he's drawn, and it's pretty good, if entirely in pencil. It looks a bit like a giant mangrove tree with a huge, person shaped bulb. There is a picture of an open bulb, laying in wait on the floor, and next to it, a picture of a pair of legs flailing whilst trapped in the bulb.]

This. Is a yatevo plant. Notoriously carnivorous, and a significant danger. I nearly got trapped by one this weekend, but there's a way of escaping. [He puts the picture down,] There are two triggers on a yatevo [He holds up two fingers.] The first is when you step onto it. Do not move after that. It will eat you. Instead, throw a shoe, a communicator [he frowns] as I had to do this weekend onto another part of the plant. That will be a second trigger and you can walk out free.

If you do happen to get caught by one... well, hope you go in face first, as being digested by a plant from the bottom isn't any fun. Not that being digested face first is.

[He holds up a picture of a giant swan. This looks like it's come from official literature, as it has a size comparison with a human. It's at least three, four times bigger than the man in the picture.] This is a Giant Swan, or Cygnus carnivorum giganticus, sometimes called the Whispering Death. They've never been known to land, they just soar around in the air and occasionally decide to... eat people. Regular swans can break your arm, but these are... exceptionally dangerous. Be wary.

There's also ball lightning attacks. But I'm not sure there's much you can do about those without flak towers and patrols, so it seems a bit pointless warning you all. Just don't take a bike.

[Awkward frown. He puts his pictures to one side.]

On a positive note! Don't let that put you off if you end up in my world up there. Go and spot some animals! Make sure you don't get ratfink juice on your clothes, that might end in you being unpopular at dinner and no amount of cleaning can get it out. But spot a bouncing goat, or a Ground Sloth. There's also the squarriel. All sorts of fun things to spot, I swear. Make sure to get their barcodes for me. Taxa numbers if you're brave enough to get that close.

[Hopeful grin]

Just don't lose your communicator to a yatevo. It's not a good way to spend a weekend.

[Private to Jane]

The other Eddie.

Be careful, Jane. Please.

((ooc: if anyone is interested in the weird place that is Eddie's world, or wants their characters to find it in the CES, this is a series of awesome pics and info about those strange animals.))
needshumility: (oops)
[Filtered away from Victor]

To make you all aware, for the next few days, my inmate will not be able to see who he is talking to. So please don't get angry if he doesn't recognise you - it's deliberate.

I, on the other hand, will be able to see who everyone is. If you abuse him, or treat him badly, just because you think he can't tell who you are - I will know, and I will step in. It won't be tolerated.

[sigh]

I'd also appreciate it if you didn't all automatically identify yourselves, as it kind of removes the point.

[Warden filter]

Alright, I know there's a flood on and if anyone's not themselves and knows it... wait to respond?

I need your cooperation, on quite a massive scale, to be perfectly honest, and I need to explain what's going on:

I'm going to be restricting my inmate's journal access, probably tomorrow, but in an unusual (apparently) way.

I want to restrict him to text and make all replies to him anonymous (am I using that right?). It has a purpose, I swear.

The problem is that I imagine some people will take advantage of this to insult him. I will be watching these conversations constantly, and I will be able to see who is who.

But I'd appreciate it if you could discourage your inmates from, um, [there is no word for 'trolling' in his vocabulary] antagonising him just because they're anonymous. It's not really an opportunity for everyone to come in and say what they really think of him - but for him to talk to people without his prejudices am I using that right getting in the way.

I hope this works.

[Private to Sarah]

I'm especially worried about your inmate.

[Private to Victor]

Victor, as of tomorrow, I'm placing a new restriction on your communications. Only for a few days, maybe even one day.

This might seem harsh, but it serves a purpose, and is not a punishment. It has never been a punishment.

I'm going to make it so you can't see who's responding to you, and you will receive everything as text. I will not allow for people to abuse you, don't worry about that, I'll be able to see who's who and keep track of it.

[Private to the Admiral]

As of tomorrow, can you please make it so my inmate can only receive text - all other posts should be transcripted for him. Can you also make it so he can't see who is replying to him, but I can? Also, he should always be able to see me and talk to me, in any medium.

Make this last for tomorrow and Thursday. I... might ask for less, or maybe more time, it depends.
needshumility: (go on)
I suppose I must say some words on my inmate, and his... experiment.

First of all, I did give him permission. It was something he expressed an interest in doing, I intended to be there to ensure nobody got hurt.

Any damage caused to communal property will be rectified. He will be taking responsibility for what his experiment has caused in cleaning and repairing anything that is required.

Any further questions can be directed towards myself.

[Filtered away from Victor]

If anyone has any... conversational difficulties with my inmate, I would like to know. If he is rude, makes presumptions, treats you worse than others - anything like that, I would like to talk with you briefly.

[Private to Una]

I don't suppose... Well, Jane trusts you.

How can I limit my inmate's communications? What are my options?

[Private to Victor]

I'm bringing you some bleach from the cleaning cupboard. That machine will be usable by the time we're done. Then we will have a cup of tea and talk over your list, I think.

[Private to Jane]

I'm having a very long day. [pause. get some nerve.]

Can we make scones again?
needshumility: (cold)
What in the beige...

[Eddie's just a little overwhelmed here.]

You can read about something, but it hardly prepares you for...

Victor, we're going looking for some Leapbacks. It'll be fun.

[Private to Jane]

This place is still swarming with the Previous. They had places like this, and we live in East Carmine?

Not that I don't love East Carmine, but why would you Leapback any of this and... we've gone a long way backwards, haven't we?

If our inmates are alright, we should go and have a cream tea somewhere. If you want. Someone else can make the scones.
needshumility: (where's my red carpet?)
THE ENQUIRER. FRIDAY MAY 20th! )

((ooc: Firstly, any inaccuracies/spelling mistakes/syntax errors/terrible grammar is IC and all Eddie's. Including his continual use of 'brutal', his use of words he probably really doesn't understand, and neither will anyone else, and his completely skewed reporting/throwing in opinions willy-nilly. The excuse for my British spelling is that he thinks it makes him sound clever. It doesn't. Oh, and his total failure to ask the important questions. Imagine there's other articles like these throughout his paper.

Also, I took the odd liberty here and there in writing stories, so if anything's not okay/needs changing, let me know and I can retcon.

Croquet, btw, is a canon reference AND the first article that came up when I googled something to put in the sports page. Yeah.

Also, if any Rumour Mill victims want to get back at Eddie, he's mysteriously missed out Miss Summers' craziness and asked her to have tea with him.))
needshumility: (go on)
So... that was a flood.

It all seemed so harmless at first, but it quickly went downhill, didn't it?

I've got a question for you, actually. [Eddie disappears off screen, and comes back with a little piece of card, then holds it up to the camera. The card is a square of orange, much like a paint sample swatch,]

Is this, 37-87-97, the colour of a carrot? Or pumpkin, or apricot? Is it about right?

[Friend filter - Bertie, the Doctor, anyone else he's said 'friend?' to. This is probably the same people as before.]

There was talk a bit back about cricket. I don't suppose anyone's interested in a game still?

[Private to Jane]

I'm so, so sorry I didn't come and get you. I... I didn't think anything I could do would work, and he was trying to lure hero-types out, and I'm beigeing well not a hero-type, but I couldn't come up with a plan that worked so...

Yes. Sorry. Are you hurt?

[pause, he knows how she's going to answer whether she is or not,]

I'll come down. I wanted to talk to you anyway.

[Private to Victor]

Right. I've got something for you to do. Do it, and properly, and I'll give you twenty merits.
needshumility: (get the red tape)
[The camera flicks on. There's a bright red flower on screen. Then, as he moves the camera away, you get a shot of some boots, white socks, khaki shorts, then, eventually, his face.]

There's some brilliant flowers around here. So many different shades of red. They're quite wonderful, don't you think?

[He points the camera at another flower, this time up a tree] Have you seen this one?

This is fascinating.

[pause]

I hope there's no yaetevos. They can be very dangerous. [Camera's back on him. There's a pointed look for someone out there. Then it jolts a little as Eddie jumps up, and then whispers to the camera.]

Something moved. I'm going to see if it's got a barcode.

[feed ends. He's gone to check out a scorpion's barcode. This will end badly.]

[Private to Jane - much, much later. voice.]

Jane. Jane! [he sounds completely terrified] Help, Jane. [the following comes out all in one, long, panicky breath]

I was doing alright but it's dark Jane it's dark and Victor made a fire which is alright I guess but it's still pretty dark out there and I can't see anything and I know there's stuff out there poisonous stuff and dangerous stuff and I don't want to be nightloss Jane I just don't please help Jane something's going to eat me or someone's going to kill me with a daylighter or something terrible will happen and I won't make it back and I don't want to die out here I just don't.

[pause, deep breath,]

Why can't the sun come up?

((ooc: feel free to spam him anywhere you like. He'll mainly be adventuring in the daytime.))

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