1.1.01.01.38: green sector east.

[needshumility]

So we all know each other's... well buried secrets.

Except, I imagine that they're still quite well buried. They all came at once - and unless you put the effort in to go back and read everyone's... it's hard to remember who said what, except the people you were really paying attention to. Especially if you were trying to control the damage someone else was doing, or making huge confessions of our own.

[Warden filter, minus Jane]

Two questions, everyone:

Does anyone have any... technology I could borrow have? Nothing dangerous or lethal. It doesn't even have to be useful. Just anything that post-dates either Victor, or tractors. Some are for him, some are for other purposes.

Secondly, does anyone have... children? Just as a query.


[Filtered to Prefect, Narvin, any other painfully bureaucratic wardens]

Um.

Is there something you need to do or fill in when an inmate graduates? Like... something official?

I'd hate to miss any formalities and you seem the sort of gentlemen who would know.

[Private to the Admiral]

I'd like to change my deal. I'd like, specifically, the following Univisual paints:

[INSERT LONG LIST OF hue-brightness-saturation NUMBERS HERE]

Many thanks in advance.

[Private to Jane]

Victor's going to graduate.

I... I think I might go home. mostly to punch dad.

Stop me, if you want. I'm not sure why, I just feel like... the longer I stay here, the more complacent I get.

I... asked for my deal to be changed back to the original. I supposed that was the less selfish option.

Do what you like with yours, but I'd... please think of Dorien.

Come to my room tonight.

[Private to Victor]

Did you have that conversation with Rex?

And... I hope you don't think I'm too much of a bad man. For... everything with Violet.

[Private to George]

I'm sorry if I was... short with you. I didn't realise that...

Things work differently at home, I think.

Comments

Re: spam

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

We do. But we might get selfish, might get... might just want to stay. Might get scared. I don't know.

[Except he did, because he had quite bit of those already.]

Re: spam

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

[Jane scoffed at that.] I'm not scared. We have a duty. If I had graduated an inmate, I would be going. It's what has to happen! [She knew that she kept contradicting herself, but that was mainly because she didn't know what to say. Or feel.]

Re: spam

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

Well, I... Jane, I am. And I hate all the things I have to go back to, but I have to accept them.

[pause]

Do you really want... I'll stay if you really want, but... hm.

Re: spam

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

[She clenched her hand into a fist, her mood changing abruptly.] Don't put this on me! Make a decision on your own and stick with it! [The anger was hiding how upset she really was.]

Re: spam

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

I made it, but now I'm doubting it, Jane! I... I don't want to leave you alone, not with the... not with anyone here, really.

Re: spam

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

[She snorted.] I was alone before you met me. I was always alone. So you can leave your concern elsewhere.

Re: spam

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

[He gritted his teeth a little. It hurt, to be told he wasn't needed.]

That doesn't mean I want you to be alone.

Re: spam

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

[She knew that what she was saying wasn't exactly true. Before, she had Zane. And that helped. But it certainly felt like she was alone when she had wandered out of the town.]

Well, you've already made your choice.

Re: spam

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

But I didn't want to discount your... opinion, now that I know it.

Re: spam

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

I don't want you to leave. But you should. That's my opinion. [She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at the wall.]

Re: spam

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

[He had a drink of his tea and ran a hand through his hair,]

I... I'll see you soon anyway. Come back, if it doesn't work. If things go wrong.

Re: spam

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

[The finality of that jarred her a bit and she shrugged.] Yeah. I will.

Re: spam

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

[He swallowed nervously and had a drink of his tea,]

I'll...

Please don't be too upset. I'll... I'll miss this. [Missing her wasn't exactly the same thing.]

Re: spam

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

[She shrugged.] Me, too. But we shouldn't have even had this time in the first place.

Re: spam

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

[He took a step closer to her, just idly, as he sipped his tea,] No. But I'm very glad we did.

Re: spam

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

Sure, Eddie. Right. [She looked to the door.] Just go. It was a mistake to ask you to come.

Re: spam

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

[Oh, damn. He'd tauped that right up.]

Jane. Please. Don't do this.

Re: spam

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

Don't do what? This is what it's going to be, Eddie. I'm sure you know that. [She shrugged.] So go.

Re: spam

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

But this... this isn't how I want to remember it, how I want to leave it, Jane.

Re: spam

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

So what do you want me to do? [She spat that out with more venom than she had anticipated.] Give you a few more nights to remember while you share a bed with her?

Re: spam

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

[Ow. That really did sting, and he couldn't help but bite back.]

You make it sound like I want to. That I'm perfectly happy to live that life. That I didn't feel so disgusted, so much betrayal at what I had done, that I couldn't even look at myself next morning. You make it sound like I felt smug or like I was doing it for fun. When all I felt, even before you found out, was crushing, crushing shame.

So I don't know, but don't make it sound like I... like I have a fucking choice.

Re: spam

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

[She shook her head.] You have a choice right now. And you're making it. [She knew that wasn't particularly fair, but she was hurt, angry, and wanted something to be angry at him about.]

And you might not be smug about it, but she is.

Re: spam

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

And I'm not choosing you, or her, I'm choosing the Plan, Jane.

[He took a very angry breath inwards,] And I wish I could choose you. I really, really damn well wish I can. But... isn't the Plan what you want?

Re: spam

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

Yes. It is. I didn't say you had to choose between us. You said it. [She stood up and started to pace.]

The Plan is what we need.

Re: spam

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

[He watched her carefully,]

And I still... didn't choose... I'd never choose her.