1.1.01.01.008: if you fiddle with something, it will break. don't.

[needshumility]

Alright, I think... question club needs to happen.

So consider this post an open place to ask questions about the Barge, and to provide answers if you know them - or to discuss ways of finding out the answer. Anyone's welcome, as are any questions.

[Private to Bertie]

What instrument do you play?


[Private to Sherlock]

Mr Holmes, may I ask if you can make a request for the art room?

At home, we can paint in full colour without seeing them by using numbered codes.

Would it be possible to get these numbered codes put on the paints provided in the art room?

[Filtered to Jane, Chromie and Ariadne]

I was thinking of working out a standard series of questions for people who've just woken up from comas. To help us try and find patterns - it's easier if we ask for the same information from everyone.

Any suggestions as to the questions?

[Private to Jane]

I've got a book for this week. Ovaltine and the radiators tonight?

Comments

do you think this is a good idea eddie

[ifightfor]

Query: Limitation on number of queries at once?

[Uh-oh.]

he thinks it's fabulous. He also has terrible foresight.

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

No.

[pause]

Within reason. No more than... ten, say.

it explains so much. and is so true.

[ifightfor]

Query: Average number of Inmates "graduated" per anum?

Further query: Average residence time of Inmate prior to graduation?

Further query: Exact number of Inmates graduated versus Inmates departed without graduation?

Query: Exact population of Barge?

Further query: Exact number of Wardens versus number of Inmates?

Further query: Rate of Warden turnover?

Query: Common complaints of Wardens concerning Barge functions?

Further query: Common complaints of Inmates?

Define "question club".

Query: What games do you play?

[strangehistorian]

These are good questions...

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

They're... all very good questions.

There'd have to be research into the first few, but I'm keeping a list of unanswered questions, and they'll be put on it.

The last two, I can do right now, though.

Question club is, essentially, like a debating society, but open to everyone.

I play cricket, hockeyball, croquet (if I'm made to) and tennis.

[ifightfor]

Query: Debating society closed to some Users?

Further query: Why?

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

Well, it is at home. I don't think there is anything here like that.

And at home? I don't think there was a good reason. That's why I tried to start something different.

[ifightfor]

[The weird text delay kicks in.]

You weren't successful.

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

More successful than some.

Other things came up.

[ifightfor]

Define "other things".

[Delayed plaintext.]

Than whom?

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

I... can't answer either of those questions. [won't, rather than can't.]

[ifightfor]

[Rinzler may be largely unfamiliar with things like "physics" and "moral subjectivity" but there are some things that are universal.

Delayed plaintext:]

Can't or won't?

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

Won't.

Private.

[ifightfor]

[Delayed plaintext.]

What do you fear?

Re: Private.

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

[he's going to deliberately take that question at face value]

The dark.

Re: Private.

[ifightfor]

[Whether or not Rinzler suspects tomfoolery here he'll roll with this.]

Why?

Re: Private.

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

Everyone in my society is.

We can't see a thing.

Re: Private.

[ifightfor]

Most Users display loss of visual acuity in low light conditions.

Query: Total loss of vision occurs?

Further query: Why?

Re: Private.

[needshumility.livejournal.com]

Yes. And something to do with our visual cortex, but we can't see a single thing in the dark.

Because govt. bureaucrats *love* stats like this...

[timesbureaucrat]

Answer to query 1: The records only go back a few years, so the averages I can calculate are statistically meaningless on account of the small sample size. Keeping in mind the serious methodological flaws, the calculation I have for the average number of graduated inmates per years is [assume number here] and average time to graduation is [assume number here]. The graduation times are so highly variable, with some graduating very quickly, that a straight average is deceptive and the median is likely a more telling number. The median time to graduation is [assume number here]. The number of inmates graduated versus those departed is [assume number here].

Answer to query 2: Total population varies frequently, but approximately 150 total. [He will not answer questions about wardens. As far as Narvin is concerned, that's all classified security information.]

Answer to query 3: Common complaints can be observed on the network. Boredom, floods, and instances of violence or threatened violence feature frequently.

And a question for you in return: What language makes up your core programming and who engineered you? [Narvin was a technician and a spy. Things like Rinzler make his fingers itch to plant sleeper programs.]

Oh yesss, delicious bureaucracy. What would we do without you?

[ifightfor]

[You can bet all these numbers are added to Rinzler's growing set of files on the Barge. Lovely, lovely numbers.]

Understood.

Security Program JA307020 originally written in modified ENCOM BASIC, compiled under Solar OS 0.41. Original author: Classified. User not on authorized list. [Whereas Rinzler was made to keep people like Narvin out. RrrRrrRrrRrrrrrr...]

Those people who make grey and beige metal filing cabinets would go out of business.

[timesbureaucrat]

BASIC. [He thinks about this, recalling his knowledge of different programming languages.] 20th and 21st century Earth. Is that where you're from?

What are your programming parameters? What sort of security do you provide?

((OOC: Now I sorta want a computer-scape showdown between them someday.))

That would be a tragedy.

[ifightfor]

Last known date on Grid: 07 December 2010.

Security programs responsible for elimination of threats to System, interior and exterior inclusive. Further parameters withheld; user not on authorized list.

((OOC: That would be amaaaazing.))

Sorry for delay. Dentist trip earlier...

[timesbureaucrat]

Who are the authorized users? The ones who engineered you?

((OOC: \o/ *tucks plot idea away for future use*))

Not a problem at all.

[ifightfor]

Further authorization required to access list of authorized users.